Privilege, Fear, and Elections Coming Near

Truth is, I'm about as privileged as they come. I grew up in a home with both parents present, healthy and able-bodied. I didn't have to wonder where my next meal was coming from or whether I'd have a roof to lay my head beneath at night. I went to school where ninety-nine percent of my peers shared my skin tone and European mutt heritage. By the time I came along, my family had already survived many a farming crises and was leaning further into the thrive side. I was able to participate in extra-curriculars that required a new pair of shoes and drove myself to practice in an old vehicle that was paid for. Higher education was an opportunity available and when I chose to get married, we did so without concern for legalities nor judgement from our local community. If I encounter the police, I needn't fear my life is in danger unless this is the reason they were called.

As a white woman raised in an upper middle-class family, I'm privileged as they come... but this is not about me.

In high school social studies I vividly remember having a discussion about same-sex marriage, after it became legal in Iowa. Students were sharing their beliefs surrounding the topic and I recall sharing my own. My own perspective at the time was that I had no problem with same-sex relationships, but marriage was something sacred that should only be between a man and a woman. This perspective came from a extremely limited viewpoint... one where (to my knowledge) I wasn't close to a single gay or lesbian individual seeking the same rights as anyone else. One based upon interpretations of a holy book that have been falsely used to control others rather than its intention of inspiring us to love and accept one another.

This memory is burned into my brain. It saddens me to think that within that class anyone sat there hearing others didn't believe they should have the same rights to the legal benefits of partnership straight folks took for granted. And from that school was someone I considered a close friend, who years later would message me asking, "If I invited you to our wedding... would you come?"

This was not a question of whether the date saved worked in our calendar, but a question of whether I accepted and celebrated who they loved. The fact that they even felt they had to ask made my heart ache, and flashed me back in my memory banks to that social studies class discussion.

You see, it makes sense that I would feel the way I did given the limited scope of the world I'd experienced. But since that day in our small town Iowa classroom I'd met friends of many differing life paths who've opened my eyes to what it may feel like to walk in their shoes. These friends have helped me to understand my own areas of privilege.

There are groups in our country right now trying their hardest to associate privilege with an inherent right to power.

This isn't new... it's a story spanning generations. It's the same reason newcomers believed they could take land and lives that didn't belong to them. It's the same reason white men believed owning other human beings was acceptable. It's the same reason women continue having to fight for rights granted automatically if born into the world male. It's the same reason innocent black citizens of our country have been murdered by those who've taken an oath to maintain the highest ethical standards. It's the same reason an unhinged felon is given a platform to spew hatred, calling those within our country who oppose him the same dehumanizing term used by campaigning dictators before leading mass genocidal violence.

Fear.

As humans, we are biologically wired to hang out in groups we believe will keep us safe. This is basic survival. We need food, water, shelter and clean air at the foundation of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs. If these needs are threatened, we get fearful. Just like other primate species ready to defend their lone fruit tree from a neighboring family trying to take possession, when resources are limited we put our own first.

Our root chakras (the energetic center governing our sense of safety, security, and sense of connection with the world around us) are imbalanced. Likely due to the constant influx of unsettling information blasted across every wavelength that reaches our ears and eyeballs, we are operating in an increased state of fear as a baseline. When fear is at the forefront of our decision-making, we are no longer reaching for self-actualization, esteem, or even love and belonging. We are only able to focus on our physiological and safety needs... which makes us want to hunker down with the groups we identify with and fend off the intruders trying to take our fruit tree.

Here's the kicker.

There's an wildly abundant grove of fruit trees. Too many of us are being taught that there isn't enough. That it's the "others" who are terrible, thieving beasts, ready to swoop in and steal our fruit. That we are deserving of being the privileged ones and these "others" are not. But who are these "others"?

They're human beings, just like you.

The more fearful we get, the more we zoom in on the identities we claim. At first it may feel like patriotism... standing up for the hope of our country and those who reside within these lands. Add a little fear and suddenly anyone outside of our borders is somehow the adversary. Sprinkle a little more fear and then someone whose spiritual beliefs differ from our own feels dangerous to our way of life. A little more fear and those with political views outside our own become the enemy. A bit more and anyone who looks different, loves different, or acts different is the opposition to our (clearly superior) ways. Before we know it, violence feels like a worthy defense of our fruit tree.

Friends, we have evolved beyond this limited scope of human experience. If a group you identify with is igniting fires of fear rather than candles of peaceful illumination, it's time to consider whether they're seeking to control or lead. True leadership empowers others with a feeling of "we can do this because we're better together, differences and all".

We have the power to soothe our nervous system into a place of peaceful wisdom and self-regulation, no matter our surroundings. We have the power to lead ourselves, our families, and our communities with love. We have the power to hold those igniting violence accountable for their actions to the best of our ability. We have the power to recognize that we have more in common than we have differences. We have the power to create the kind of world we want to to see our children live in.

Let's use this power to come together.

Love & Peace,

Ashley Kay